Answered Prayer

Remember this post?  The issue of identity in the things other than Christ has always been a struggle for me.  It manifests itself pretty strongly in my involvement in the boys’ home in Puerto Alegria, Peru.  I tend to throw myself so completely into it, thus creating an identity that is way too closely intertwined with them.  I forget that I am first a child of God, THEN I am a Spanish-speaker/teacher.

This can get sticky when things down there don’t work out as you planned.  For example, you get there and a child you have devoted yourself to praying for and loving is gone.  Or perhaps you get there and aren’t received like you thought you’d be.  You find yourself feeling desolate and confused.  What’s my purpose now?  There are a million different reasons why putting your identity in earthly things just doesn’t work.

Before this past trip, I prayed.  A lot.  I prayed that I would be able to love them with the love of Christ, not with my own, self-seeking, satisfaction-needing love.  I prayed that whatever happened when I got there, I’d be able to love them because of and through Christ, not my own efforts.  God really answered my prayers.  This trip was different.  I wasn’t anxious of how I would be received.  I didn’t feel a need to win anyone’s approval.  I was just there to love.  That’s it.  Ahhh.  Sweet relief.  Praise be to God.

“The saint who is intimate with Jesus will never leave impressions of himself, but only the impression that Jesus is having unhindered way, because the last abyss of his nature has been satisfied by Jesus.”  –Oswald Chambers

Here’s a few pictures I took with my SWEET new camera!

Junior blowing bubbles.

Nixon, who let me pat him on the back for the first time. Some of these kids have been so hurt by the adults in their lives that they won't allow themselves to feel or receive love. Praise God for changes in his heart.

Oriel. He has grown so much! Check out the post linked to above to see an older picture of him.

Edward is new to Puerto Alegria. 9 years old and has come from a life on the streets. My prayer is that he STAY. I know that those who arrive from the streets often go back to the "freedom" of the streets. Pray with me that he stays where he can be loved and fed.

Luis, now five years old.

Ronald, who has been close to my heart since my very first trip.

Heartbreak

Leoncio talks with a lisp.  He stands at about 3 feet tall, but he can take anyone out.  He has no fear.  He is all jungle. All muscle.  All boy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adolfo is like his brother, but a bit more reserved.  He is hungry for affection, but doesn’t quite know how to get it, except to catch your eye and then run and hide from you.  He’s troubled.  He’s mischievous.  He’s beautiful.  I love him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

They’ve both gone back to Iquitos.  

This is my first taste of what I know will accompany investment in street children…heartbreak.  There’s the heartbreak of knowing their stories, the things they’ve seen, the things they’ve experienced.  But then there’s also the heartbreak of not being able to hold onto them too tightly.  Not only am I a million miles away, but I am not guaranteed that they will be there when I return for a visit.  The vision of Scripture Union is to restore families.  They are free to leave and return to their families whenever they choose.  This is good (in some ways).  But it hurts.

It’s very possible that they will return.  I pray that their family will be restored.  There is nothing more beneficial for a child than to have a healthy relationship with their biological parents.  But if it is not healthy, then I pray that they return.  

I am reminded of how little good I can do in a child’s life.  I am purely a vessel to communicate the love of Christ.  If I am not that, then I am doing nothing for them.  I pray that I have been that in their lives.  Lord, use me for YOUR purposes, not mine.

**PHOTOS, except the last, courtesy of Britney Almaguer.