“I’m going to grab Deric and throw him into the hot sand and hold him there until he burns.” “I’m going to break into the project and steal everything.” “You’re a f*^$#@! a*+&^%$”
These are just a few of the many threats and choice words we heard from my K last week as we ate our lunch on the beach. He was so angry and it broke my heart to see him like that. As he slowly began to make more and more threats, we had to pile the kids into the car and find another place to go. As much as we love him, we can’t jeopardize the other kids and their safety.
Please understand that this kid is my heart. I love him more than I ever thought I could love a child who is not my own. And the thought of losing him to the pervasive temptations and bad influences that he confronts everyday is scary and very real.
So, we let him be for a few days, as we knew he was very angry and was best left alone. Honestly, we didn’t think he’d come back to the project. Yesterday, he showed up at the project to get his birth certificate, because he was “never coming back here.”
I tried talking to him, but to no avail. Roberto came out and gave him his birth certificates. He grabbed them angrily and walked away. I told him I loved him as he was walking away. He said, “Look for a man to f@#$ you.”
I went back into the project and wept. Not for myself and the insults hurled at me and at Roberto. But for him. For the anger that has so invaded his heart. For the thought that he may not ever come back to the project. For the possibility that he may be losing an opportunity for a better future. I praise the Lord because I know his eternal future is secure, but I weep for his earthly future.
They told me, “You have to harden your heart, Kate.”
“No, thank you, I will not. I will never stop weeping for my precious boys.”
Last night, we were driving around looking for our kids. (Unfortunately, they hit the streets at night to beg and sell trinkets to make money.) As we were driving, there he was. My sweet boy.
We pulled over. He walked to the passenger side of the car, where I was sitting. He leaned his head closer to me. This was my cue that the Lord had softened his heart. I reached out and hugged his sweet head. And he just stayed there. He looked up and smiled at me. And, of course, my heart melted.
After that, we (Roberto, Ahnalies and I) heard different words. We heard things like, “I’m sorry for treating you that way.” “Did you get the note I put on your car?” “The truth is, F is pulling me down and into bad things and I can’t resist.” “I shouldn’t have talked to you that way.” “I’ve been thinking about this all day yesterday and today and the truth is I can’t ever hurt you guys since you were the only ones who cared about me when I broke my nose.”
Roberto and I got to tell him how special he is for us. I got to reassure him of his eternal salvation, and just because he has decided to walk with Christ doesn’t mean he isn’t going to have times where he doesn’t act like it. His heart has been made new. I told him how God had been working in his heart since he came to us and asked for forgiveness, unprompted. I mean, how many 14 year olds do you know that do that?
But the best words I heard were, “See you tomorrow.”
Isn’t God awesome?