And can I add that it’s usually worse than what you thought?
From the beginning, the Lord has given me the vision to invest deeply and profoundly in a small number of kids. It has been almost three years and I feel like for many of them I am just beginning to scratch the surface.
D has been with us for some time. We thought he was just an all-around awesome kid who just needed resources. He is so well-behaved and respectful that we could only assume that his mother loves him well at home. We have just recently found out that he has been living with his Dad for three months because his mother tells him he is not her son, she wishes he would leave and it would be better if he was dead. Whaaat? We were shocked. He is only sharing this with us because he trusts us. (He actually first shared it with our awesome intern Lyssa Melonakos. Lyssa, please stay forever)
[The deeper you go, the more you know. And it’s usually worse than what you thought.]
We have recently learned that our precious C tried to get his girl to have sex with him. Thankfully, she said no. (shocker!) This kid is the last one we would ever think is even thinking such things. My heart breaks at the thought that he felt the pressure and that it was time he take that step. This is something we wouldn’t know if we weren’t making such an effort to invest deeply.
[Again, the deeper you go, the more you know. And it’s usually worse than you thought.]
The most recent and most heavy on my heart has been all that is happening with my precious K. K has decided he wants to be a grown-up. He has decided that he is going to “take in” a girl (which is basically like marrying her) and provide for her. He has confided in Roberto the details of their relationship and it is truly heartbreaking. My baby is growing up. But really, he is still a child. I am afraid we are going to have to watch him fall on his face in order for him to learn that he is not ready to provide for anyone. We are paying for his schooling (thankfully, he is committed to school), but when he comes to us asking for money to feed his girl, we have to say no. He needs to see the commitment he has made and if he wants to be a man, we must let him. And it’s hard. We want him to see that he is in no way able to support anyone in an effort to perhaps pull him back from a life that none of us want for him. And let’s not even mention how much I love this child. This must be just a glimpse of what it feels like to be a mother of a wayward child.
[The deeper you go, the more you know.
The more you know, the deeper you love.
The deeper you love, the more you put your heart on the line.
The more you put your heart on the line, the more it hurts.]
Please pray for our boys, who at 13 and 14 are making way too grown-up decisions. Lord, protect them from themselves!